24.7.08

DOGZPLOT, NO COLONY & A POEM

dogzplot published my flash fiction.

order NO COLONY. i'm not even going to come up with some hyperbolic statement about how this publication will affect me. just order it.

here's a poem for you:


HOLD HANDS WITH SOMEONE WHO HATES YOU

The next time you give birth to me I will curl up and strangle you before I am fully out.

I am a stupid idiot.

If I could live in a stand-up coffin in the middle of the woods with a water bottle near my mouth I would.
I would pee on my feet and not care.

I want to stand naked before a large group of people and shit on myself and then say “I am a human like you. Make room for me.”

When you yell at me I will remember the size of your mouth and then put something in your mouth that is just slightly bigger so your mouth splits open and you learn to make it smaller.

People tell me about things I have said or done around them in the past and I don’t remember any of it; it is fun to watch their smile get limp the more I refuse to remember.

Tonight I will sit in my room and make little cracks in my skeleton and then fill the cracks with tapwater and sit in the freezer until I am ready to come out.

I put butterknives in my mouth and acted like a walrus, which you liked until I told you that as a walrus, our mating takes place off the pack ice, remote from shore and that as a male I would display myself to you using teeth-clacking, clanging bell-like sounds, and whistles and that I would probably tap your skull with my teeth while we mated.

How many times do I have to prove that I am no different than an empty coke can skipping the highway?

Praise is step one to death.

Don’t look at me.

Make my skull into your showerhead.

You don't understand anything that I am saying but that's ok because I am looking for a friend who doesn't know anything.

10 comments:

Brandi Wells said...

i love your thing at dogzplot. and i love margaritas.

sam pink said...

you are cool.

i like tequila too but i rarely drink it because the last time i did, my friend told me my face turned green, like actual green and i said, "i am the hulk" but i could barely lift my head so it kind of turned me into a reverse, pussy-hulk.

KEN BAUMANN said...

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I LIKE IT

sam pink said...

hello ken baumann.

jereme said...

good stuff

as always

and i shall defeat your ego

and abort your mind

sam pink said...

jereme i will kill you with a knife and put sprinkles in the wound.

ryan manning said...

the asian britney spears

gena said...

i like sprinkles

albie said...

Sam Pink shall be my snooty robot assistant in hell. We shall drop our trousers at the peeling of a truly massive bell, which summons forth the...

sputum dripping on my...

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