10.9.08

A SHORT PLAY

There is a man and a woman sitting in a living room. The man is on one couch and the woman is on a separate couch.

The man: [repeatedly pointing and clicking the remote] Fuck—why won’t this thing work?

The woman: [painting her toenails] What won’t work?

The man: [tapping the remote with his hand then pointing it at her again] The button that makes you explode into flames. It won’t work for some reason.

***

also, i have a piece up at yankee pot roast.

19 comments:

Mark said...

She probably switched out the batteries for some dead ones before they went to Walmart for a refill of KY and condoms.

He'll go to the drawer and get the trick ones she put in there the night before - the ones that blow two fingers off his hand. It's better when he fucks himself over.

Then she can use those cotton balls and make everything better.

Anonymous said...

Why did this play not contain an onion?

I think that's what we are all wondering.

albie

Socrates Adams-Florou said...

This is one of my favourite posts in your blog.

sam pink said...

mark, ah hell nah.

albie, the guy in the play was an onion. i wanted to be subtle about it.

socrates, you're my favorite post on my blog.

Bradley Sands said...

Where the fuck is your submission, Sam Pink?

http://www.andersenprunty.com/2008/07/bradley-sands-is-dick-update.html

ryan manning said...

victory in japan

Anonymous said...

im getting sick of all these fucking publications you got going on. - bg

sam pink said...

they will end soon and i will realize i have nothing to say and i am useless and everyone is better than me.

sam pink said...

they will end soon and i will realize i have nothing to say and i am useless and everyone is better than me.

sam pink said...

i think the rapper twista may have said it best:

"careful where you servin' yo blows
because those hos
got tha po-pos
posin' as hobos."

Anonymous said...

Ah, the old "the man was the onion" ploy. I wouldn't accept it off Brecht and I won't accept it off you.

I make you sick! SO sick your farts smell of my sick.

albie

DOGZPLOT said...

i actually like biggie's version of the same sentiment:

"don't they know my nigga Gutter fuckin kidnapps kids / fuck em in the ass throw em over the bridge"

DOGZPLOT said...

just to be sure. we are still talking about onions right?

i was talking (posting comments on blogs is the new emailing which is the new talking) to someone the other day and told them that your writing reminds me of any kauffman's comedy. it is meant to matter to you and if nobody else gets that then fuck em. there are very very very few writers who can honestly say they write with that type of integrity. you're the real deal sam. i dont care what i say about you when you aint around.

you complete me. you are my ambassador of qwan

Bradley Sands said...

I like the ice cream sandwich head woman. And I like the dickhead man. Is that you?

FrostingandFire said...

he's a fucking loser.
and she should have gone out for a mani/pedi.
who are these idiots?

sam pink said...

barry, i feel that you are the shit.

bradley, watch yo mouth suckah.

frosting and fire, be careful because fire melts frosting.

Mike Bushnell said...

sam pink,

There is a new industry promo. The Industry has turned to lit. The Industry is called away from moneypaper and towards pagepaper.
I hope those books get to you soon. I am sorry we are so slow with everything. We are finally getting inventory, so we are not making the books per order. We have a small public space in town here. It is free. If you want some money I will send you some money. Or I could buy a ticket to get you down here for a bit. Let me know. I would like to do a reading match with you. Paperheropress is tits. Let's do an interview on sunday or monday. get at me, dog, because I have lost it.

sam pink said...

mike, all of this is good. email me.

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