29.10.08

YUM YUM I CAN'T WAIT TO DIE REVIEW

!!!!!DEVELOPMENT!!!!!!!!

jimmy chen wrote a nice review of YUM YUM
!!!!DEVLOPMENT!!!!!

daniel bailey wrote a review of YUM YUM I CAN'T WAIT TO DIE. i feel that it is the best review yet. i am ultimately referred to as a black penis. i sent the book to someone at KEYHOLE. so lick it up KEYHOLE. this is your chance to get your hands on what daniel bailey feels is "the blackest of the black" penises.

26.10.08

EXCEPRT FROM 'YUM YUM'/'CEREBRAL PALSY'/'I WORSHIP SATAN'/RICHARD RAMIREZ/THE FAMILY WITH DIFFERENT COLORED CIRCLE HEADS

"TULIP" published an excerpt from YUM YUM I CAN'T WAIT TO DIE. the editor PETER CAVANAGH edited the piece.

there is also a poem by daniel bailey that is fucking sweet.

i am almost done editing I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF THEN KILL THE CLONE AND EAT IT. here is a new poem ("cerebral palsy") and below it is a poem that was cut from CLONE ("i worship satan") and there are also some pictures. i think there is something wrong with me. if this blog suddenly vanishes, then so what.


CEREBRAL PALSY

you are new, red playdoh and i am the clump that has all the colors mixed together and you know i look like shit.
*
i got up a second ago and i accidentaLly hit my finger on my door and it feels broken.
*
for the last couple of days i have repeated to myself, "be a good boy, i don't want my mom to find me with blood and hair on my shirt."
*
there is no way to be comfortable.
*
i have sex dreams where i hold someone and i don't have sex with them.
i have a feeling that other people are ruining my mind.
*
one day i want to wake up to someone telling me they hate me. i want that person to follow me around all day, telling me that they hate me. at night i will cook that person dinner so they don’t get too weak to stop telling me they hate me. i will try to make sure that person gets enough blankets when we’re going to sleep. and i will try not to pull the blankets off in the night even if it’s totally accidental (and if i accidentally do pull off the blankets, i hope that person is not a dick about it).



I WORSHIP SATAN

i'll breathe on the windows and trace a face that is mine and yours.
i'll rip your ear open with a secret.
the secret will turn to icicles stringing the torn canal.
*
say hurray for the length of time you get to make things happen.
say hurray, you ingrate.
*
the wires that control my mouth feel thin.
it is hard to say things that people understand.
*
what is sharp is mine to use.
i expect the same of you.
clean the tools from yesterday.
reach into the air and pull down your weapon and use it on me.
*
make your pillow a small lake.
make your teeth twenty-eight weapons.
make your hands hate their work.
make your way to hell.
make the earth sick with your dead body.




THE FAMILY WITH DIFFERENT COLORED CIRCLE HEADS

21.10.08

WHEN I WATCH PROFESSIONAL BOWLING ON TV AND I LOOK AT THE BOWLERS AND HEAR THAT LIKE NINTENDO-MUSIC THEY PLAY IN BETWEEN FRAMES I THINK ABOUT SUICIDE

blake butler and his solar anus performed A PLAY ABOUT TWO PEOPLE.

when i go into the solar anus i cover myself in tin foil and hope for the best.

*

HTMLGIANT.

i wrote a review of mike bushnell's TIDAL.

i wrote a review of barry graham's NOT A SPECK OF LIGHT IS SHOWING.

*

VIRGIN ORGASM.

THUNK.

ryan manning is a pussy.

*

bradley sands is a mega-pussy.
i am looking forward to this:




thanks, mega-pussy or should i say, bradley sands.

*

j.a. tyler read YUM YUM I CAN'T WAIT TO DIE

joey minutillo read YUM YUM I CAN'T WAIT TO DIE

your mom read YUM YUM I CAN'T WAIT TO DIE and then you dropped dead

*



*

brandon scott gorrell is a cracker bitch, and i will spill his cracker blood. his book is also coming out.

he is also putting out GREAT with chelsea martin. it looks fucking stupid and i hate it:



*

SOMETHING I JUST REMEMBERED:

if i ever propose a pillow fight be careful because i have this thing where i put a rock inside the pillow case too, you know, to severely damage your fucking skull

*

HERE IS WHAT I GENERALLY THINK ABOUT WHILE WATCHING A PROFESSIONAL BOWLER ON TV IN A BOWLING TOURNAMENT TAPED IN 1988 WITH SHITTY YELLOW GRAPHICS AND SHITTY NINTENDO MUSIC BETWEEN FRAMES:

is the bowler's mom still alive?
is the bowler still alive?
did the bowler's mom love him?
has the bowler ever thought he loved another human?
is that bowler experiencing happiness?
has the bowler ever been told to "shut the fuck up?"
could i outrun that bowler?
could i totally slay him at nerf basketball?
do i have a moral obligation to find the bowler and hug him?
does that bowler like to have change in his pockets or not?
did that bowler enjoy buying the shirt or pants he is wearing?
does he enjoy having those glasses that like get tinted when it gets dark?
is that bowler married and if so, would he be the type of bowler that would want to watch me have sex with his wife?
has that bowler ever wanted to just run into a tree headfirst and sleep for a while?
how many people have called that bowler stupid to his face, and how many times has he openly agreed?
if i were playing a board game with that bowler, would he be look at me or just look down at the pieces?
has that bowler ever been up really late and thought to himself, "how am i going to stay alive when i hate myself this much?"
when that bowler sees a stain on his shirt does he get upset or does he try to pick it off with his finger?
how many times would you have to hit that bowler in the arm before he cried?
could i push that bowler over, or would he just stand there all pissed and maybe then try to push me over?
has that bowler ever had a friend?
did that bowler ever hurt someone's feelings and then regret it?
why does the nintendo-music in between frames and the shitty graphics from 1988 stating the score make me feel like i will die alone?

*

HERE'S A LITTLE PIECE I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON CALLED "DEAD ANGELA LANSBURY OR ANGELA LANSBURY IS DYING LIKE YOU AND ME":




*

i am wrapped in a blanket in my cold room.

i am editing the proof of CLONE.

19.10.08

I MADE YOUR INSIDES INTO AN AQUARIUM

blake butler performed A PLAY ABOUT TWO PEOPLE, which is in the book I AM GOING TO CLONE MYSELF THEN KILL THE CLONE AND EAT IT, and NO COLONY. when i watched the video i felt good in a very strange way.

ryan manning made a blog that contains a bunch of interviews that didn't cause me to die while i was reading them, otherwise i wouldn't be able to write this post, unless i wrote this post and then died.

VIRGIN ORGASM.

HTMLGIANT has more dynamic and interesting writers than me.

i am trying to write a longer play based on an anthology piece that bradley sands and michael young are composing. i gave them two stories. one is called RONALD MC DONALD and the other is called THE PEDOPHILE. i am going to lengthen THE PEDOPHILE because i am having fun reading it.

smoke pcp everyday yo.

there is enough blood in my leg to fill up a drawer in my fridge. i will dip chips into the blood drawer, and invite guests to do likewise.

i forgot to write down what i wrote on each personalized letter that came with YUM YUM so if you didn't throw out the note email me what it said. i want to post them. i feel that they were productive and will get me laid hardcore in the future.

barry graham is having an identity crisis because he can't figure out if he looks more like kerry king from slayer or mr miyagi. i am laughing at his despair. go buy his chapbook i liked it.

after actually linking everything in this post, i feel that someone should congratulate me. it doesn't have to be anything grand, just like, "hey, good job man" because usually i fail to link things correctly and then i panic and feel like throwing my computer into the shower and running away from it.

16.10.08

I HAVE LICE

hi. i still have a few copies of YUM YUM I CAN"T WAIT TO DIE. email me. if you are a small publisher or know a small publisher, email me if you'd like to publish it. almost all of the copies are gone and i want more people to read it but my money is gone. publish it you scaredy-cat. i can expand it to book length too. here is what might happen when you receive the chapbook in the mail:



"hey what the fuck? i have mail! i thought the wold had abandoned me! what's this?"


"whoa, holy shit! this is so innovative. and shit! is that cardstock and resume paper? this shit is for real. it's so professional if i owned a small business i would hire this person! or at the very least publish this book for them because they clearly have very little money!"


"oh dear, this is entertaining! almost entertaining enough to publish! i seem to be lol-ing! oh...no...no...it's happening! i am...lol-ing...beyond control! fuck!"

"you stupid cat! i am going to put syrup on you and eat you, you stupid cat!"


"man this was ultimately satisfying and perhaps worth printing! i am alone and no one loves me!"


"here's one i prepared earlier!"

10.10.08

YUM YUM REVIEW AND FREE COPIES OF YUM YUM FOR FREE

hello. YUM YUM I CAN"T WAIT TO DIE was reviewed by MOUNT HOLYOKE NEWS.

also, if you'd like a copy of YUM YUM I CAN"T WAIT TO DIE, please email me your address. i recently had the book printed up myself and it looks really nice. i used resume paper and cardstock. i will mail it to you for free. if you don't live in boston, then email me and i will mail you one. if you already paid for one and haven't gotten it, email me. if you have naked pictures of yourself, email me. i will include a personalized message. so far, some of the personalized messages have been:

1. KEEP BEING A PERSON!
2. YOU ARE GOING TO DIE AT SOME POINT!
3. LET'S SHIT ON A RAINBOW TOGETHER YO!
4. I LOVE YOU!
5. YOU ARE AN A+ PERSON!

email me if you want it. it looks nice and i have a lot of them.

5.10.08

HTMLGIANT AND VIRGIN ORGASM

hello.

HTMLGIANT is a new website started by gene morgan and blake butler. i write for it. i read it everyday now. if you want me to write about something, email me.

VIRGIN ORGASM is a new blog that me, and ryan manning, and blake butler share. it will contain my very best work.

virgin orgasm

virgin prgasm

virgin orgasm

virgin orgasm

virgin pgrasm


i posted an article about daniel bailey's awesome ass poetry collection on htmlgiant

htmlgiant

htmlgiant

htmlgiant

htmlgiant


preorder my book please.

i have something free to give out soon (and no, it's not a hologram of my rotting corpse).

1.10.08

PREORDER MY BOOK YOU FUCKING IDIOT

you can now preorder my book I AM GOING TO CLONE MYSELF THEN KILL THE CLONE AND EAT IT. if you order it and you want me to come live with you, email me. i am serious. i hate my life.

also, i have received word that all chapbooks should be out and arriving shortly. if you don't get it soon, email me.

also, i write here now.