24.11.08

BE NICE TO EVERYONE & GREAT

you can preorder both BE NICE TO EVERYONE (a play from ml press) and GREAT (a magazine constructed by brandon scott gorrell and chelsea martin).

BE NICE TO EVERYONE is a play about a man and a woman. i guarantee you will like it. if you do not like it, assemble a bomb and put the bomb in an envelope and send me an email that says something like, "hey, i like you so much i just wanted to mail you a nice present, could i please have your mailing address?" then, instead of mailing the "nice present" mail me the envelope with the bomb in it and blow my hands off so i can never type again. BE NICE TO EVERYONE might be characterized as less idiotic and will gain me acceptance from everyone. i want to be accepted. i want people to like me.

GREAT is a magazine put together by brandon scott gorrell (silly ass honky bitch) and chelsea martin (mormon assassin). from the tone of the email i received from brandon, and the post on htmlgiant about it, it seems that brandon and chelsea are excited about the magazine while still maintaining a neutral stance on it.

together, the publications will cost you six dollars but will probably make your shitty pathetic life seems less so for a period of roughly ten to sixty minutes or however long it takes you to read both.

goodbye, and remember, everyone hates you.

13 comments:

ken baumann said...

sam you're getting tame

sam pink said...

ken baumann, what you are saying is incorrect but i still like you.

Brad Green said...

Thank you for reminding me that everyone hates me.

Daniel Bailey said...

give me your address. i am going to skeet into an envelope and send it to you. i have disney stamps. i will use the cinderella one for you.

word verification says "hosso," which is how a retarded homeless man in rural texas pronounces "hot sauce."

Matt DeBenedictis said...

Trust me I never forget everyone hates me. I flaunt that shit like big ol' titties at a girls gone wild party. I plan to read all those publications very slow so life will be enjoyable for a standard amount of time for a change.

ken baumann said...

sam you know i jus plaaaayin

jereme said...

eh i'm with ken on this one

i am not excited for 'every body wants to rub my ego' or whatever it's called.

i feel like you are pushing me away sam.

please don't push me away.

i am scared to be alone.

chris killen said...

i wrote more about the sandwich.

lisa ladehoff said...

i'm getting you this for christmas


http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/sku9634833/index.cfm?pkey=ccookie%2Dcutters

Montgomery Maxton said...

i stayed up late to read your blog after having a hoagy

sam pink said...

i like everyone here.

brad, it is good to remember.

daniel, hosso is the funniest things i have ever read.

matt, life becomes shitty when you forget that everyone hates you.

ken, i am just plaaayin yo head like a flute.

jereme, don't be shy.

chris, i feel closure about the sandwich now.

lisa, i will separate your loins.

montgomery, that is a good combination.

the word verification is 'briatiri' which is a small amoebic life form that live underneath fingernails.

Anonymous said...

Why is it so hard to get the poo smell out of my fingernails after a dirty anal sloughing?

Maybe I should pull my nails out before releasing my anus snorkel into the ceramic underworld.

I can put up with the.....oughtour


albie

freefun0616 said...

酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店經紀,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店工作,
專業酒店經紀,
合法酒店經紀,
酒店暑假打工,
酒店寒假打工,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店工作,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店經紀,
專業酒店經紀,
合法酒店經紀,
酒店暑假打工,
酒店寒假打工,
酒店經紀人,
菲梵酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,
禮服酒店上班,
酒店小姐兼職,
便服酒店工作,
酒店打工經紀,
制服酒店經紀,
酒店經紀,

,