2.12.08

'EVER' AND 'LIGHT BOXES'

please preorder BLAKE BUTLER'S NOVELLA 'EVER'


blake butler is a nice and genuine person. he is a giant stone at the bottom of the ocean with plant life growing on it.

here is a blurb for EVER:

"damn son, if this book were a blog post, it would get like, probably 17 comments, no repeats."

please preorder SHANE JONES' NOVEL 'LIGHT BOXES'

shane jones is also nice and genuine. as previously discussed on this blog, he will be my coworker at quiznos in twenty years.

here is a blurb for LIGHT BOXES:

"shane jones will probably be at a family party sometime and one of his aunts will be like, 'i heard you wrote a book' then shane will nod and say how much he liked the dip she brought and that he will probably eat more of it. then they both will never talk about the book again."

i will be honest now. i think that blake and shane are two people who deserve to be read. when i read their work, i think, "this person is somewhere else." that is all that matters to me when reading. somewhere that i can only get by reading the work. there is no joy in reading something that i can do. i can't do what blake and shane do. they are somewhere else, and i like that they let me see it.

here are some pictures that represent my experience with reading their work:

in this picture, the greatness of blake and shane's work has rendered me incapable of enjoying my life.




in this picture, slightly after the realization of my own worthlessness, my head explodes and floats away as two differently colored balls with indistinct features.




BE NICE TO EVERYONE is for sale.

I AM GOING TO CLONE MYSELF THEN KILL THE CLONE AND EAT IT is for sale (i am almost done editing it).

also, alician pernell's magazine YIPPEE is up for preorder. when i emailed her some work, she emailed me back, "after i read your work i did the hands on the face thing like on home alone."

i will stop asking you to do things after this post. i will start posting more work. i have things.

14 comments:

BLAKE BUTLER said...

i love you again

sam pink said...

footjob

daryl said...

reviews of zach german and much mroe at
daryltheblacksmithat.blogspot.com

Sabra Embury said...

Oh man, how'd I get here?

Is that a strawberry shitting in a dude's mouth?!

That's fucking beautiful.


What the hell's "plibal"?

Marc said...

i like your requirement=i think authors should be somewhere else. i don't think keith gessen or npr-friendly authors are anywhere else. nice site. marc
ps i think that's strawberry's mixed up.

Matt DeBenedictis said...

I think you should do more posts filled with picture reviews, or maybe a chapbook filled with them, or just send them to random people via the post.

Montgomery Maxton said...

im going to read these books then make a YouTube video review because i'm cool shit & pretty like that.

Sam. Hi.

lisa ladehoff said...

ugh SHUT UP DARYL WHO ARE YOU


sorry sam

hi sam i laughed at your drawings and i love you

jereme said...

man why is every one sanding my glans penis into grit?

did every one sit down and have a meeting or something?

seriously why the hell is every one releasing their shit during a recession december.

you know march is pretty fucking boring. maybe some people could wait until march when i have more money?

i'm getting a complex over which to buy first. i hate you all.

dont' leave me.

secret word is boobbl

it is fun to say rapidly.

Shane Jones said...

this was really cool. thank you sam.

sam pink said...

sabra, you are fucking beautiful. not open your mouth so i can shit into it.

marc, thank you.

matt, i would eventually like to put more art out. redivider is publishing something and so is GUSTAF.

montgomery, yes. try to include the phrase, "boner millionaires" which is a phrase i can't stop thinking.

lisa, i can beat cho ass at mariokart.

jereme, you are nice and i think even if you didn't buy any books i still wouldn't push you into traffic. 3 days until de la hoya gets facial reconstruction surgery against his will.

shane, we need more black olives in the ingredient cart. pronto!

well, everyone, we've learned a lot today. we've laughed. we've cried. we've given eac other footjobs. and we've formed The Boner Millionaires. where we go from here is as yet undetermined. but we will go together, and with infinite love.

word verification is "hypup" which is how i say hello to a dog when i am very drunk.

BlogSloth said...

Jesus Christ you overuse the word genuine.

This is a genuine response.

sam pink said...

blogsloth, there is a picture of you running next to your name.

word verification: bilogur

bilogur is the name of a romanian giant who eats the fingernails of little kids and if the little kids don't leave their fingernails out for bilogur, then bilogur pushes small pieces of wood into their nasal cavities while they are sleeping.

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