29.12.08

I WROTE TWO MORE BOOKS AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM DOING

bradley sands (ruined his corduroys with a bloody wet dream) reviewed YUM YUM I CAN"T WAIT TO DIE on NOO JOURNAL. i liked the last edition of noo journal. one time i sent something to noo journal and it was rejected with a nice note from mike young. i like mike young. and ryan call. i think they are the editors. if they aren't, then it would be weird for them to reject the work i sent. the work i sent was called MEGA HORNY RANDOM DEATH GENERATOR--DIE DIE DIE. i think highlights magazine accepted it. i am glad bradley sands wrote the review because i like bradley sands. also, i wrote this post about YUM YUM I CAN"T WAIT TO DIE because i just finished it the other day. it is a book length poem now. a while ago i wrote a post about emailing people a new book i had finished. it was a long poem called YOUR HUGS ARE TERRIBLE AND NOTHING GETS ME HARD ANYMORE. before i was done, the whole "people aren't getting copies of YUM YUM" thing happened so i stopped writing the book to make and mail out copies of YUM YUM myself. when i reread YOUR HUGS ARE TERRIBLE it seemed like it was a lot like YUM YUM. so now i combined them into a really long poem. it is six times longer than YUM YUM and six times as "hardcore gay in the mouth." i think i am going to start sending it out. i don't know what i am doing. that is what i constantly think when i am writing and sending things out. i don't know what i am doing. i printed out the new book the other day. i walked to a printing store in a snow storm. i held the book under my coat so it wouldn't get wet. now it is pretty much done. maybe i will email it to people. i don't know what i am doing. i like it. when i read it, it feels good. and it feels like i am done writing the short things separated by an asterisk type of bullshit. i don't know what i am doing. maybe i will title it YUM YUM I CAN"T WAIT TO DIE or maybe i will change it so people aren't like "oh this shit again." i can't think of a better title. maybe i will call it "6 year old + dildo covered in glue = eat my beard out." i don't know what i am doing. someone from greying ghost said they would look at it. i don't know what i am doing. i even edited the original parts of YUM YUM to be more nicer. i don't know what the mood is but when i feel it i don't like it. whenever i write something i feel like i am in a weird mood. then i look back and i don't recognize anything. also, i will post soon about another book that is almost done. it is a book of plays. BE NICE TO EVERYONE came from the book. there are two other versions of BE NICE TO EVERYONE in the collection and i changed the original version. there are a bunch of other plays in it too. if you like BE NICE TO EVERYONE and A PLAY ABOUT TWO PEOPLE, then you are an idiot and maybe you would like this book too. i don't know what it is called. i keep thinking it should be called THE HUMAN BODY IS A FIREPLACE AND IT CANNOT BE KILLED but i don't know. maybe i will call it "GLOBAL WARMING IS GOOD BECAUSE I LIKE TO PLAY FRISBEE IN THE SUN." i don't know what i am doing. the book is really long. i have to edit it more and put in more lines about not being a human. it is 800 pages long. what am i doing. i think i want to have a child now so i can have some direction. i would make a good parent. i am nice. i don't know what i am doing maybe i should have a kid. i feel really angry. new kinds of anger. if i can focus and stop watching tv to stop feeling alone, then the books will be done and maybe someone will print them. i don't know what i am doing. i am glad you are reading this. i am sorry for talking about myself a lot. i am just excited about the books. i want to start a journal soon. who knows about computers. mega horny random death generator die die die die. you are a failure if you choose an enemy outside of yourself. you are weak if you look for a foreign enemy. fuck. i don't know what i am doing. i hope you don't feel like you wasted your time reading this. i have mistreated many people. i am going to be good. i am going to staple a small sheet of paper to my head that says, "ask me about my inability to get along with myself and others." i don't know what i am doing. i avoid things i think will make me happy because those things are the hardest to think about later. i want to confuse a delivery person by ordering my groceries from now on and whenever the delivery person comes, i will use a raspy voice and say, "slip it beneath the door my child." i like to stare at people. when this mood is over i will never feel it again. i will act like i am cured and then when i feel it again i will act confused. barry said he would send me a proof of I AM GOING TO CLONE MYSELF THEN KILL THE CLONE AND EAT IT. i am nerbous (nervous with a 'b' is worse than regular nervous). i am mumbling a lot lately. i think my only belief is that i will be nice to people so they don't hate me because i can't convince myself not to hate myself. i haven't been sledding in a while. i am just remembering a show called MURPHY BROWN. maybe that show doesn't exist. when i turned 22 i knew my life was over. when i turned eight i had my first thought of suicide. everything is going real good. my dog acts nervous when i accidentally step on his leg when i am not looking and then i apologize to him and hug him for a while because it seems like he thinks he did something wrong. i am going to fall out of my chair now. ok i just got up. if anyone feels i have been mean to them at all i don't know what i am doing. the angel gabriel inhabits the bodies of all people who cut hair so if i ever get a haircut gabriel can slash my throat out. i keep thinking "oh humans." everything is getting shorter. and nobody wants to wash my body. thanks. goodbye. hopeless i have a spine that is exhausted and indignant about its job. today i walked through pilsen and a small mexican kid said hey and i said hey how are you doing and he smiled and for five seconds i did everything right. i am never comfortable. hamas. giant chocolate space suit motherfucker. goodbye. everyone is nice until you talk to them. somebody print up these books so i can hang myself from my balcony holding my roomate's cat whose name is NAPOLEON and who i call BABY LEON. it doesn't bother me to think about parents having sex. blake butler is the creator he made everything except for ecto cooler. i will treat you like my son after an AYSO soccer game. mothe4fucker + hamas = ecto cooler in my eye. you are all growing up and i like to watch you get bigger. i hope my grandpa never dies because then i will be ruined. i am counting down to being an even deader motherfucker. the liars album "DRUM IS DEAD" is nice. i walked to it yesterday and thought all humans had disappeared. motherfucker i am about to fall out of my chair. see you. i don't know what i am doing.

23 comments:

BLAKE BUTLER said...

this made me feel good to read about you feeling not that good, but in a good way, for both of us

drum's not dead is the shit

sam pink said...

i don't know what i am doing

jereme said...

i liked this post

DJ Berndt said...

I like what you are doing.

Adam R. said...

Did you really fall out of the chair?

xtx said...

i enjoy how you put words together.

what is your favorite drink?

i want all of your books.

Matt DeBenedictis said...

I like what your doing. The nefarious Walruses planning full scale attacks also like it as well. THE YUM YUM CHRONICLES. Keep it going.

Anonymous said...

thank you, you are good, its okay.

sam pink said...

jereme, thank you, you are nice. adam, actually yes, i did it and it was fun. one time i did it and my heel got cut really bad by the chair. dj, thank you. i don't know what i am doing. xtx, my favorite drink is water. i am not joking. matt, you are a nice man. anonymous, let me touch your anonymous head.

Mike said...

Been enjoying your posts. I think I'll say something else later...

xtx said...

sam, my favorite drink is water too and I am not joking either.

we are sympatico or something.

sam pink said...

xtx, if i had a really big glass we could drink water out of it with two straws and i would poke your eye out with my thumb.

mike, thank you. say something else later.

the next person i see i will call a "jive ass turkey"

mzreed said...

you know what your doing in making people like your posts.
in other terms.
you probably dont know what your doing.
if you are repeating "i dont know what im doing" so many times.
because im sure you thought about saying that...that many times.

i dont know what im saying.

sam pink said...

mzreed, i typed it every time i thought it while writing the post. if i put my hands over one of your hands, i can make a hand sandwich and then it will hurt to eat but maybe be good. i dont know what i am doing.

adam coates said...

i imagine you spontaneously combust

lisa ladehoff said...

i'm too tired and my sinuses hurt so i can't read this right now but i just wanted to say- 'hi. happy new year. fuck 200h8'

'dempoksm' - deepak choprah is a demi-god; when comparing other people to deepak choprah, you might say, 'yes, he indeed has an aura of dempoksm about him'

sam pink said...

adam, exactly.

lisa, i mention you halfway down. no i am kidding but now you will read it.

Socrates Adams-Florou said...

sam i know what you are doing. to find out what you are doing send me a cheque for £poems.

ousnen - a backwards sneeze

Mike Young said...

thank you for liking and linking

YUM YUM is in the pipes, it's making a big clank, it's a coupon for heaven

murphy brown forever

sam pink said...

hello mike young. i think YUM YUM is better now. maybe i am wrong. thank you for being mike young. i am going to write about you in my diary now.

Anonymous said...

You should now write a book about this picture....


http://fc45.deviantart.com/fs37/f/2008/275/0/c/They_by_albatrash.jpg

and give me five pounds.

And I want to live on an old pier, above a shop that used to sell cold fish and sea stuff. And there should be sea stuff hanging up everywhere. Like old nets and sea hats. Not just in my house but all up the pier.

albie

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