23.12.08

i am worried a lot that my fingernails are going to fall off for no reason

adam robinson, publishing genius, reviewed my chapbook play BE NICE TO EVERYONE.

you can still buy it from powell's book store. go to this page and consider buying it, or just leave a ridiculous message about something on the review page.

i think i will say something about plays in a little while like a few weeks maybe.

a new magazine KITTY SNACKS is going to publish some of my work. they put one poem online and the rest will be in their magazine. send them some work.

i am part of a new blog called NO CHANCE: A QUARTER TO ONE with socrates adams florou and chris killen and some other people. it is a motivational blog. check out IMMENSE CAVITY OF HAPPINESS and other posts. socrates and chris write better posts than me. they make me laugh.

lastly, kathryn regina tagged me. this means i must write seven things about myself and then tag seven other people to do the same. kathryn regina wrote this chapbook which kicked a big thorn stem into my urethra and did not apologize sincerely. i really really like it. she is somewhere else.

here are my eight things (i just added one):

1. i just popped a zit on my face and it caused like, that good-painful feeling.

2. not masturbating for a few days causes extreme anxiety to the point of me not recognizing myself in retrospect. for some reason i start to think that the few people who matter to me will die soon.

3. i spend a lot of time kissing my dog's head and telling him what a good boy he is.

4. last night i watched SAVED BY THE BELL and it was the episode where mr belding's brother comes to teach at the high school and he abandons the kids right before a field trip.

5. today i went for a walk in a blizzard.

6. i have been institutionalized.

7. i still do that little kid dance thing when i am eating something i like.

8. one time i was sitting outside a subway restaurant and a girl walked by and she was drunk and she looked at me and said, "just to let you know, you are really creepy."

i hereby tag the following people to do the same:

socrates adams florou
mallory reed
blake butler
lisa ladehoff
drew kalbach
chris killen
the guy who played VIGO on the ghostbuster's movie

in conclusion, i think it would be funny to build a snowman around someone and then retrieve another person and walk by the snowman and then have the person inside the snowman jump out. i think it would be worth the effort.

NEW: if you preorder I AM GOING TO CLONE MYSELF THEN KILL THE CLONE AND EAT IT barry graham will throw in four free chapbooks and the chapbooks are not shitty. i did the cover for ja tylers.

read this by blake butler.

19 comments:

DJ Berndt said...

I hope that number eight actually happened because I laughed when I read it.


"gadalogl" - a really sad monster that lives in arctic environments. it is also capable of anger, but not capable of fear.

Socrates Adams-Florou said...

I will do my duty later on.

"Barcula" - everyone knows this is a canine blood-sucker.

sam pink said...

the gadalogl sat, head in hands. he wept in his cave. the weeping woke the barcula. the barcula went to the gadalogl and said, "if you finish the ice cream, don't put the box back in the fridge dummy."

Socrates Adams-Florou said...

The fridge dummy is quietly dying in the flat. The fridge dummy has not been fed for two weeks. The fridge dummy is unloved and ugly. The fridge dummy is dead now.

DOGZPLOT said...

good stuff on kitty snacks. who is the editor over there?

'wamatie' - a retarded australian kid

DOGZPLOT said...

that was my 11th favorite saved by the bell episode.

remember when they dressed screetch up like an alien to get money from the tabloid but then they got tricked by the ufo agents.... that is my 12th favorite episode

'apheo' - a wamatie pronouncing the name theo

sam pink said...

barry, the editor is michael bible i think. yes that is a good episode when screech is the alien. i like the episode where they all manage to occupy their days together even with jobs and other responsibilities. oh shit that is every episode. i always thought it was funny that zach brags about how many girls he has kissed. he is clearly a virgin. it is just like real high school where if you smoke a cigarette everyone shuns you.

"sticar":

an australian man hired to assassinate unruly wamaties using a bow and arrow.

sam pink said...

dj berndt, yes that actually happened. on the same night i was standing out front of the subway with someone and a girl came running out of the subway and slammed a sandwich in the person next to me's face.

ken baumann said...

NO CHANCE is really funny. GOOD JOB FOR DOING THINGS ON THE INTERNET!!!!!

PEOPLE NOTICE!!!!!

Kathryn said...

sam you are the best. i just ordered your chapbook play.

BlogSloth said...

I have enjoyed and read your blog this year. I would not revisit if your words had not interested me, glowed my life a bit. I thank you.

sam pink said...

ken, YOU ARE THE FUTURE OF YOU AND YOU ARE GOOD MAYBE REALLY GOOD THE BEST AT BEING KEN BAUMANN! AND DON'T HURT SMALL ANIMALS BECAUSE THEY MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP YOU ONE DAY!

kathryn, thank you. i hope you enjoy it. stay away from roosevelt and ashland. i am the best at not smiling in pictures.

sean, thank you. you are very nice and i hope you continue to like things, like a like-monster.

word verification is "ingro"

ingro is a dance form in brazil where the objective is to rub your bellybutton together with your partner's until a whistling sound occurs.

lisa ladehoff said...

i am better than you at not smiling in pictures. ok that's probably not true. you and gena both tagged me. is that like, a double negative?

word verification: whisheam-- now available in forest, lapis, and charcoal gray; exclusively at L.L. Bean.

mzreed said...

i think you are filling up my text message inbox to fast.
i hate you.
sandwich?

DOGZPLOT said...

sam:

michael bible... no shit. i just accepted a chapbook of his for the achilles series. his stuff is bad ass. i'll have to check the journal out beyond your piece.

'tismo'

the fourth most prestigous greeting scottsman exclaim when they initiate a conversation with a barkeep they've affectionatley nicknamed mo.

DOGZPLOT said...

mzreed:

why are you in michigan?

i love you.

does that count as a love letter?

Anonymous said...

I just saw a bus moving behind a blind on a window in an internet cafe. There's another one. And now a person.

Now a wheeled person.

albie (word verification was 'hii'myulebrynnerandi'mdeadnow')

Anonymous said...

This is a fucked up website. You are weird

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