6.1.09

BE YOUR OWN WICK

A man walks into a bathroom stall, in the backroom at work. His shift is over. He sits on the toilet with his pants still on and his winter coat still on. He reads an old newspaper he finds on the floor. He does the wordsearch. He finds every word. He sets the paper down and takes a gun out of his winter coat.

Man: I don’t want to pay attention to anything ever [looks at murky reflection on stall door] You are my only friend. But I am not attracted to you.

The light above him flickers and hums. He puts the gun against his head.

Man: Bang bang—you’re dead [points it at his chest] Bang bang.

“I Will Survive” plays over the p.a. speaker.

Man: I am a little pocket of air that unfolded into something disgusting. Bang bang. I hate every hair on my arms and every blink I make. I want to be a permanent blink.

The bathroom door swings open and the manager walks into the bathroom singing “I Will Survive”. He sings and washes his hands.

Man: [sitting still, whispering] Bang Bang. I will survive.

The manager leaves. The man clicks the gun a few times. It is not loaded.

Man: [clicking the gun] Bang Bang. I will survive.

Suddenly, the man decides he is happy and that everything is perfect. He walks home very slowly and smiles at a stop sign.

15 comments:

Brad Green said...

I thought this was really fantastic. Sam Pink is better than a Dairy Queen ice cream bar.

sam pink said...

thank you brad green. i agree with your assessment although dairy queen does have some fine products to offer.

xtx said...

i didn't like this at all. totally unbelievable. Nobody smiles at stop signs.

Drew Kalbach said...

still waiting for that post about plays.

good job sam.

sam pink said...

drew, the post is already up. it is the one that is really long and is called "i wrote two more books and i don't know what i am doing." somewhere in the rambling there is mention of the books of plays. i am still editing it. it is really long. i will email it to you when i am done. i would be happy to know what you think.

Drew Kalbach said...

i would love that. drew.kalbach@temple.edu. looking forward to it.

Socrates Adams-Florou said...

Hello Sam, how are you? Do you want to melt into a pool with me? just thinking. Your friend and little man, Socrates.

jereme said...

i really enjoyed this except for the ending.

that type of hatred doesn't just suddenly go away i think.

sam pink said...

drew, it might still be a little while but i will definitely email it to you. socrates, you are nice and lovely. jereme, you are hot on the trail.

Anonymous said...

This story proves that reality is offensive clockwork.

albie (nestogg)

DJ Berndt said...

That was a lot of fun to read. I read it after masturbating.

Daniel Bailey said...

bang bang. everything is perfect.

"junsin" is a form of dancing/karate taught to lizards in the stepdaughter's moon shoes.

lisa ladehoff said...

i ate an orange the other day and I THOUGHT ABOUT YOU

dednes- illiterate deadness

sam pink said...

dj, i like to immediately edit writing after masturbating because i feel really "no bullshit" like.

daniel, "junsin" is a streetlight with a pituitary gland problem that grows up to the moon and fights with the moon for control of space.

lisa, "dednes" is the name of a cult leader who collects her subject's laughs and throws them at toothless cats.

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