"smell me, do i smell like b.o?" (lifts arms) "like onion-style?"

(smells) "no, not onions. it smells, like pizza."

"pizza sounds worse than onions."

"could be."

(lowers arm) "people like pizza though."

"they do."


"drink some beers tonight?"

"i would drink greater than or equal to one 40oz."

"can't get forties around here."

"what? we'll go to lucky's."

"fuck that. i don't want to get shot."

"the people there don't fuck with me."

"that's because you look insane."

"remember the guy wearing the 'say cheese and die' hat?"

"yeah he was cool. he gave me some of his fritos."


"i hate 7-11."


(kneeling in aisle) "why do they keep the tampons by the duct tape and the gardening gloves?"

"in case shit gets real."

(grabbing tree branch walking past) "i think like, whenever the next time somebody buys something off me, and they want to know how much it costs, i'm going to be like, '1500 clams.' and then be like, 'actual clams.'"

"sounds good."

"you aren't listening to me."