here are some things:

1. you can buy CLONE from the publisher again. i don't have any more copies.

2. i am reading in louisiana i think, in may. i need to raise money for a train ticket. if there is something you would pay me for doing, like work, let me know. pictures, writing, printed drafts of books that haven't come out yet whatever. i will do work for the money. if you live in chicago, i will clean for you or try to explain to your son or daughter the importance of the eternal return as the fundamental grounding of nietzschean metaphysics. i am also willing to paint your apartment or make you some food. if you need someone to watch a movie with and imagine things into the movie that make it funnier i will do that. i will also beat someone up for you.

3. here's my tip of the week. if you have a shirt that smells halfway bad, you can drape it over a chair and put the chair by a cold window. overnight it will smell fine again.

4. i am supposed to get a proof for THE SELF-ESTEEM HOLOCAUST COMES HOME this week so if it looks ok it will be out soon.

5. i think i plan on burning out pretty soon. if you own a farm and need some help working it, i will be burnt out pretty soon. i am a good worker and i don't talk a lot.

6. if anyone has a book coming out soon, and it is like, a serious book, i think it would be cool to quote a slayer song on the first page. perhaps something from "altar of sacrifice" or "necrophobic."


sarah san said...

thank you for tip number 3.
i don't need febreeze anymore!

Ross Brighton said...

I want to quote Tricky:
"They label me insane, but i think I'm more normal than most. I know I'm the truth"
I've going to write an essay on that.

My cousin used Wu-Tang as an epigram for his masters.

Bauhuas would be good, Either:
"But I will always exist
because I always exist
and you will always point
Your fishes at me"
(The Three Shadows, pt II)
"Oh gentlemen
Swallow your prayers
Because the wind makes a mockery of men
Your soul becomes a fish
You swim in idle waters
And drink other fishes piss
Your soul feeds on fish
On piss, puss and men"
(The Three Shadows, pt III)

and pig destroyer are great. Prefer Cephallic Carnage or Agorophobic Nosebleed though. Or Sissy Spacek (the band).

Olivia said...

"here's my tip of the week. if you have a shirt that smells halfway bad, you can drape it over a chair and put the chair by a cold window. overnight it will smell fine again."

But what about the FIT? Will it fit like it's clean?

brittany wallace said...

kind of want to buy self-esteem holocaust.

because i liked clone so much.


sam pink said...

febreeze has never worked for me. it is usually something i secretly spray into my boots if i am at someone's house and then later when someone asks about the smell of the febreeze and where it came from, i just ignore them. olivia, the fit should remain. the chair method only works for shirt smells that are mid-level to lower-level. brittany, i will sell you one for two dollars or however much shipping is.

Z.Rodriguez said...

Pig Destroyer is a GREAT band and Prowler in The Yard is in HEAVY rotation on my Ipod.

I'm willing to barter MY book with one of YOUR books.

There's no Slayer lyrics in the front, but if you want I'll write some in your copy of the book.

I like:

"I wanna rip your fuckin' face off."

Come to Buffalo instead. Free place to stay here.

bootsie q. mcgromblestein said...

you really don't talk much.

cameron pierce said...

I ordered CLONE last night.

Do you want a dented can of yams? It's from Delaware.

I'm writing a book about suicidal pickles right now. It's almost as serious as dancing pancakes. Maybe I'll quote Slayer somewhere.

DJ Berndt said...

You should sell copies of your art on eBay. I would buy them. Or sell prints from a flickr or something, whatever those kids do these days.

brittany wallace said...

based on the state of my bank account, i could afford 4 or 5$.

generous man.

Ben Brooks said...

I would buy prints of DJ Berndt off flickr.

ben spivey said...

number 3 & 6 for real

Hob said...

Haha, Pink Destroyer. I remember hearing about them my first time at dude fest. Graf orlock is also something to check out. Cinema grind.