26.4.10

TUTORIAL/PICTURE ESSAY (#3)

this is the third installment of the "tutorial/picture essay" feature here.


the first installment: "How To Make Yourself Into A Blanket And Help Others" is here (part 1), here (part 2) and here (part 3).


the second installment "Ear Sizzles" is HERE.

i advise you to re-read these installments to be better prepared for this one. i got the idea for this installment a week ago. me and scott mcclanahan were drinking beer in an alley before our reading. we went to a 7-11 to get a brown paper bag for scott and i used the black plastic bag that came with the six pack. it was then i realized that a great lie had controlled my life up until that point. for it was then that i realized the brown paper bag is not the best way to drink in public, but rather, the black plastic bag is superior. i present the following tutorial on how to use a black plastic bag for more comfortable public drinking. beneath this post is a post that summarizes this post. thank you.


we've long been accustomed to using the brown paper bag to conceal the alcohol. and while its smell as a bag is superior to all others, it does have a unique flaw: a wet bottom can give way and leave you stranded.



as such, i began to conceive a new approach.



placing the beer into the bag, you will want to wrap the handles around the mouth of the beer can, snugly.



good, you're getting it! now, to finish off the apparatus, simply knot the handles, leaving a loop (thumb caddy) for easy manageability.


you've now taken a step towards evolving your life. below, please find a summary.

5 comments:

Socrates Adams-Florou said...

really great and useful post, sam. the blanket posts bring back so many sweet memories.

scott mcclanahan said...

I feel like this is a real breakthrough.

sam pink said...

i wish i was dead

pb said...

I've done the plastic bag thing (always with a straw too) but I prefer the feel of paper bag. It just feels nice.

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