28.6.10

willows wept press is going to publish a chapter book of mine next year. the chapter book is called YOU HEAR AMBULANCE SOUNDS AND THINK THEY ARE FOR YOU. it is a single, long poem.

also, i got an email from someone asking to buy some original art off of me. if you would like to commission me to make some new art for you, email me: [sampinkisalive@gmail.com] here is most of the art i have done: moronculture.blogspot.com

the stuff i am making now seems better.

also, i usually don't know what to think in emotional situations so i end up imagining myself standing up from behind a large rock, myself wearing sunglasses and holding a rocket launcher, then i shoot the rocket launcher and it makes a sound like someone coughing, and flies come out. i'm 27. i end up hating or seriously disliking almost everyone i meet. most every goal or ambition seems unappealing because i know i still have to be myself no matter what is accomplished. the part of my face by my mouth hurts, because i have been unknowingly grinding or clamping my teeth all day lately. the roulette is: pathetic-sad, insanely-angry, paranoid, and petty. whenever i'm out walking and a car passes me, the little kids in the car are always looking at me. i assume it's because they are welcoming their future. no, the new roulette is: feeling-unstoppable, and/or feeling-like-i-am-willing-to-peacefully-wait-to-be-dead. i went to western illinois university for a semester and i was suspended for vandalism, and i was on surveillance for selling cocaine and nitrous and also stealing a car. i don't burn bridges i make them shitty enough to ensure they will fall with any weight. germany is going to win the world cup. i'm cursed. feels like at any point there are many people surrounding me, each letting out a short scream from a different place and each scream is a warning to stay still. i'm not sure it's worth making anything anymore it all seems to be a dumb game. it all seems like a procession towards realizing a new type of negativity that isn't even satisfying. the roulette is: either feeling like smoke trapped in a glass ball, or feeling like the glass that traps it. and i'm calm on the outside. i can be confused for a planet made of water. no, no, the last roulette is being almost amused at what new terrible shit you will create. the fourth of july is coming up. i found a very old thing of deoderant the other day and when i smelled it i felt sad. i want to be naked and covered in my own blood and then teach myself manners by shooting myself with a gun that shoots blue lightning. june 28th, 2010.

21.6.10

NORWAY "CLONE" AND INTERVIEW WITH SEAN KILPATRICK

a chapbook version of "i am going to clone myself then kill the clone and eat it" has been released in norway, by the publisher Flamme Forlag. here is the website. audun mortensen translated it. here is what it looks like:




also, sean kilpatrick interviewed me. i answered questions about the books i wrote, killing animals, self-mutilation and music. i answered the questions honestly and with a little bit of annoying humor.

here are some other interviews on sean's site that i've read and enjoyed:

gene morgan

tao lin

noah cicero

blake butler

16.6.10

SLAM DUNK, DUDE! (THREE THINGS)


1.

AAAA
AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa......


(that's me falling into a pit of some kind)





.....aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA


(that's me joining you in the pit you're in)



2.






3.

i read and enjoyed this online.

4.6.10

AN ANALYSIS OF A PICTURE OF ME AT A READING/TOTAL NARCISSISM



1. HOOD ON INDOORS: perhaps an attempt to re-create the comfort of the womb? more likely a way to feel withdrawn. some speculate also this could be an attempt to secure oneself from getting "slimed" on top of the head. sources close to the subject however, maintain that the hood on indoors is merely a way to smash down hair during the critical growing out stage, so as to avoid "the poof."

2. MOUSTACHE: meant un-ironically. pure and simple an exhibition of the subject's cowboy masculinity. somewhat akin to the moustache of an older mexican or italian man, rather than a way to seem cool.

3. WHITE T-SHIRT: no doubt part of a three-pack from Target (9 dollars for three). the way the subject's necklace pinches down the collar would suggest a "v-neck" but no. it has yet to be confirmed whether or not this is the one from the three-pack that has a red wine stain on it.

4. BOTH HANDS GRIPPING THE READING MATERIAL: perhaps an attempt to avoid having to make motions with hands. more likely a characteristic sign of subject's normal pent-up energy.

5. OLD ASS BOOTS: going on two years of constant use, these boots were allegedly given to the subject by an old man after said old man saw the condition of the previous pair. the current pair is said to be flapping apart much like a hobo's tophat. current pair is also said to, "reek bad."

6. BACKPACK: perhaps a sign that the subject has no other way of carrying the books he brings to readings to sell and then shies out of asking people to buy.

7. CAPRI SUN (MOUNTAIN COOLER FLAVOR): no doubt a way to kill the dry mouth before a reading. sources close to the subject say he lives a life that requires the pure energy only a pouch can provide.