4.6.10

AN ANALYSIS OF A PICTURE OF ME AT A READING/TOTAL NARCISSISM



1. HOOD ON INDOORS: perhaps an attempt to re-create the comfort of the womb? more likely a way to feel withdrawn. some speculate also this could be an attempt to secure oneself from getting "slimed" on top of the head. sources close to the subject however, maintain that the hood on indoors is merely a way to smash down hair during the critical growing out stage, so as to avoid "the poof."

2. MOUSTACHE: meant un-ironically. pure and simple an exhibition of the subject's cowboy masculinity. somewhat akin to the moustache of an older mexican or italian man, rather than a way to seem cool.

3. WHITE T-SHIRT: no doubt part of a three-pack from Target (9 dollars for three). the way the subject's necklace pinches down the collar would suggest a "v-neck" but no. it has yet to be confirmed whether or not this is the one from the three-pack that has a red wine stain on it.

4. BOTH HANDS GRIPPING THE READING MATERIAL: perhaps an attempt to avoid having to make motions with hands. more likely a characteristic sign of subject's normal pent-up energy.

5. OLD ASS BOOTS: going on two years of constant use, these boots were allegedly given to the subject by an old man after said old man saw the condition of the previous pair. the current pair is said to be flapping apart much like a hobo's tophat. current pair is also said to, "reek bad."

6. BACKPACK: perhaps a sign that the subject has no other way of carrying the books he brings to readings to sell and then shies out of asking people to buy.

7. CAPRI SUN (MOUNTAIN COOLER FLAVOR): no doubt a way to kill the dry mouth before a reading. sources close to the subject say he lives a life that requires the pure energy only a pouch can provide.

17 comments:

Brett said...

This is awesome. Are you going to have more readings in the city over the summer?

sam pink said...

i'm reading at Target.

sarah said...

love this

Jordan Castro said...

whassup

sam pink said...

sarah, jordan, this is the plot to the 1991 film "ski school" as explained on wikipedia:

A hard-partying section of the school, Section 8, led by Dave Marshak (Dean Cameron) must face a more buttoned-up section of the school led by Reid Janssens (Mark Thomas Miller) to save their jobs.

sarah said...

can i lead the more buttoned up section of the school?

scott mcclanahan said...

backpacks are essential.

Ani Smith said...

nice 'stache, cowboy

DJ Berndt said...

This is awesome.

pb said...

You are such a cutie- get your ass to NYC so we can hang out.

sam pink said...

sarah, yes.

scott, the zipper is broken. :(

ani, ketamine.

dj, jazzy jeff

pb, where's new york, sounds cool.

jereme said...

you are a non-worthwhile human being. no one wants to hear your words.

tell me you did not get the fucking job.

please.

Don Broma said...

I have a mustache and I wear a hood indoors and both are because I am frightened of other people and I want to look tough so that they will not attack me.

KBee said...

I consider myself amused by all of the above and below. And I am a fairly miserable person. Good work

sam pink said...

misery

bootsie q. mcgromblestein said...

i'm a big fan of capri sun, even after seeing that horrible photo of the mold clump someone found in their own little foil pouch. gross. but whatev.

Molly Gaudry said...

Utterly endearing.