two things

"frowns need friends too" is out of print for a little bit. it will be out again through lazy fascist press sometime soon.

also, i have four days or two hundred minutes left on my awesome prepaid phone. if anyone wants to record a phone interview to put on the internet, email me. it would have to be in the next four days and you would have to record it. think of the possibilities!




i dont have a computer anymore.

if anyone has a relatively unshitty laptop that you'd be willing to sell for very cheap, or trade for something, let me know.

the only thing that i own that is actually worth the same as a laptop, is a set of speakers. it's two speakers, each a 2 X 15 with a built-in cone.

other than that, i have a gym mat that i sleep on, a small box of books and drawings, and a cat named Rontel, but i can't trade him because he acts crazy if i'm not around.

i'd also be willing to make a "clean your house anytime" coupon for you.

email me, sampinkisalive@gmail.com

i look forward to being asked if i'm gay in the comments section.


i am imagining a pilot in a spaceship, and s/he is saying, "we are nearing, total isolation."



these are my goals for the upcoming two years.


finish and publish the greatest book of american poety ever written.

finish and publish a novel about becoming an adult.

then i either want to move out of chicago and live in the woods by a small body of water or: be a garbage man or: father a really really big number of children or: kill myself in a hotel room or: get a job as someone who paints the inside of buildings like i used to do.

also, if anyone is willing to pay me to write blog posts for a week or two or however long, that would be good. i feel like i might have ideas and i could write ok articles and i need money for food and bitches and also i need to re-sole my shoes because there is a hole in each of them.

here are some examples of blog article ideas i have: "the use of second person narrative" "extreme writing" "realism and responsibility" "how to hate yourself into becoming a better person" "criticism and hurt feelings" "the internet" "my experiences as a 'writer'" "selling out"


i just got an email from someone offering to sell me the domain name "extremedepression.com"

it wasn't a spam email.

does anyone have 475 dollars so i can buy "extremedepression.com"

how's everyone feeling, everyone all right?

i bought a pair of pants at the salvation army yesterday. it's the best pair of pants i have ever owned. i'm being serious. they have the perfect combination of "ass" and "genital" room. i've worn them every day since i bought them, even to sleep. when i was buying them, a homeless man threatened to kill me. he was smiling though.

i feel very interested in doing readings. if you want to me to read in chicago, let me know. i'll fucking come to your apartment even if no one is there. i'll read in an alley. i'll read to you while you stand on the sidewalk and i lean out my bedroom window.

how's everyone doing. everyone ok?

extreme depression.

am i going to die this winter?


hey there was a slight problem with the cover of "hurt others" but it is fixed now. if you already bought it, you can cut me at my next reading.

how's everyone doing.