20.12.11

i'm serious about all of these questions

does anyone want to hire me in chicago for a manual labor job somewhere near uptown.

does anyone know of any manual labor jobs near uptown that might be willing to hire me.

does anyone want to pay me to write a monthly advice column.

does anyone want to pay me to write un-researched essays on random topics.

does anyone want to pay me to write a romance/sex column.

does anyone in chicago want to start a band.

does anyone in chicago make aggressive electronic music that needs aggressive singing over it.

does anyone in chicago make any kind of aggressive music that needs aggressive singing over it.

does anyone want to pay me to be a surrogate father.

does anyone in chicago want to battle me to the death.

does anyone in chicago want to pay me to read them a bedtime story to them every night.

does anyone in chicago read this blog.

does anyone in chicago want me to burn them with a cigar/whatever.

sampinkisalive@gmail.com

7 comments:

Bambi said...

If I lived in Chicago I would pay you to be my personal wind-shield.

Jordan Castro said...

lol

good luck garning info homie

sarah san said...

i want you to burn me with a cigar.

azurfemme said...

I live up by the Wisconsin border in McHenry county. I would pay you to be my friend but I kinda did that once already. It didn't turn out well.
But how about if you take the train out and you can sit here in my living room and talk about things. And while you talk we will make art (because I've been having trouble with that)and I won't have to pretend to be anything I'm not just to make you happy. And I'll make you a sandwich before you go home.

shaun said...

sam i wrote you a poem

sam pink said...

i hate being alive

Nathan DePriest said...

at least you're alive in the stimulating land of train sets and sky-scraping robot penises rather than the alienating banal flatland of suburban sprawl where drunk driving is a necessity