10.1.12

i'm an adult

i have paintings for sale. they are both three feet by four feet. i will try to get pictures of them up. if you want to buy one email me. they're really nice. they're so fucking nice.

i started a band with a man from texas who now lives in chicago. his name is wes neal. the band is called "depressed woman."

it seems like you can tell if someone was just talking about you if you walk into a room and there are two people standing there and one says, "so anyway". "so anyway" is the sign that someone was just talking about you.

i'd like to ask a serious question. what is REALLY stopping you from opening fire on a police car. is it morals, or the fear of getting caught. for me it seems like the fear of getting caught. when i really think about it, most reasons why i dont do things are because i don't want to get caught.

last night i had a dream where a pit bull had it jaws clamped down on my hand (i always dream that a dog is biting me when my hand falls asleep while i'm asleep) and the pit bull had really big teeth that looked like pumpkin seeds and when the pit bull bit my hand i said out loud, "this will be ok" and i put the pit bull's head against a brick wall and kneed it twice. the first one didn't do anything. but the second one cracked the pit bull's skull and the jaws released my hand.

depressed woman in 2012.

is anyone having fun anymore.

i feel like years ago i was like, "i'm going to stop having fun for a little bit then come back to it" but then i never came back to it.

yesterday i was walking down the sidewalk and a man passed me from behind, going backwards in a motorized wheelchair, with his head over his shoulder, holding a laptop computer.

the guy who lives above me screams at videogames all night.

for some reason i keep thinking i would definitely win the lottery if i played once but i just won't play it.

a huge worry of mine is that i'll be sleeping over at someone's house and then randomly piss while i'm sleeping. like, it could happen. it could just happen once, out of nowhere and then never happen again and i'd either have to never talk to that person again--just run out of the house and never communicate with them again--or try to apologize in some way, but i know i couldn't do it without laughing.

a lot of things seem stupid to me now. like i just keep thinking, "that's stupid" and then i think, "wait, is that stupid" and then i think, "yeah it's stupid."

i almost uncontrollably said, "i love you" to an old man working a sandwich counter last week when he said, "chips and drink?"

is anyone having fun anymore, i'm serious. can someone tell me something they have done recently that was fun and can they describe the feeling.

depressed woman.

i'm an adult.

6 comments:

Nathan DePriest said...

opening fire on a police car... hmm... the differing reactions of law enforcement to armed tea party rallies vs. unarmed occupy protests (beatings, pepper spraying of passive resistance) coupled with obama's authorization of indefinite military detention of american citizens on american soil displays that we are basically living in a police-state where the interests of the rich are protected by our leaders and legislators who are in the pocket of corporations which control the media, refusing to report anything of consequence beyond frivolity meant to distract us from the fact that we are capable of taking control of our own destiny in a true republic.
firing at a police car would be fleetingly cathartic, but would land you in the meat-grinder of the for-profit prison system where you are more completely marginalized. better to follow the footsteps of MLK and Ghandi... i miss cicero... that is all

Shaun Gannon said...

i don't open fire on police cars because i lack a gun

sam pink said...

those are both good answers actually. myself, i feel like i don't, ultimately, because i'd be worried that once i started shooting, one of the cops would roll out of the car into a kneeling position holding a gun at me with one hand and holding my cat by the scruff of his neck with the other, like a shield and my cat would be asleep, hanging there and then the cop would be like, "let's, not, be hasty." and i'd drop the assault rifle and then get shot a bunch and my cat would have to watch me die and then he'd grow up without me in his life and when the cop let go of his he'd probably walk over to my crumpled body and lie down next to me as my blood pools all around us.

Jose Osoria said...

I had fun a week ago. I kissed a girl because I felt like I had to. We fell off the bed together and a nice song was playing so I felt like I had to kiss her. I haven't talked to her since then because I don't want to. It was fun.

Downassbitch said...

I am interest in painting(s).

sam pink said...

cool email me.

sampinkisalive@gmail.com