if anyone knows how to promote music or wants to help promote YOUNG FAMILY, email me.  we have someone helping with the mastering now so pretty soon when the 'king cobra ep' comes out it will sound better.  we're also getting 'you ruined it' remastered.  if you want a free cd to do a write up, or want to talk to me and kelly email me.  of if you know places for me to send free cds, let me know. don't do it for me, do it for kelly, she has typhoid fever.  
here are some drawings i made over/into some drawings lina zoo gave me while i was in new york.  if you click on them you can use the magnifying glass to see them better.



shitstorm rontel.  i'm really excited about this shitstorm because it means i've finally achieved a level of success where random thoughtless people talk about your work even when they havent read it:

1. initial review

2.  secondary review of a review

3. facebook bullshit

4.  my response to the first review and second review (in the comments section)


gerald mcclellan vs nigel benn (the book with danny from the post below) was reviewed at htmlgiant. 

the reviewers talk about wanting to 'post up' at the park in pilsen.

dont post up at the park in pilsen.

also, i like the last video in this post

here's a review of 'clone...' 

also, here are the main headlines on the 'uptown crime report' webpage:







i went to go see danny from the story 'danny...' in 'gerald mcclellan vs nigel benn' and he was gone, his doorway boarded up. 

walked into a large public bathroom yesterday and it was just me and this other guy.  the other guy was standing in front of a mirror dancing to the music being played over the p/a/ and he was going, 'aw yeah' and other things like he was having a nice time and i smiled and nodded a little, like 'hell yeah, get it' and then when i went into a stall i heard him suddenly and loudly go, 'whoop whoop' and then 'chicken chicken' (or 'shiggin shiggin' not sure which) and then he started talking to himself like, 'see that's what they keep asking me, that is....really that is the ultimate question.' 


i got a bunch of 'chicago' post cards from the store.  there are two kinds, one says, 'chicago...my kind of town' with like, neon, and the city behind it, and the other one is an aerial shot of where the city and the lake come together, like something from the 'family matters' opening.  if you write a review of 'rontel' on amazon, i will write you a postcard and mail it to you.

UPDATE: email me after you write the review.



just read this review of rontel where it accuses me of racism and living in a 'white boy bubble.' 

i figured this shit would happen eventually because as more people read your work, more people misread it.

the review basically says my use of 'ghetto talk' for the 'black characters' is like, racist.  i could probably end this response right here by saying, "there is no mention of race in 'rontel' like, period."

no character's race is mentioned.

if you read someone using "ghetto talk" (whatever the fuck that means) and 1. assume that character is black   2. assume any character is any race and/or 3. assume 'ghetto talk' means 'unintelligent' then you are racist, not me.  it's pretty much that easy.

also, it's weird that the reviewer sees the transcribing of how someone talks as offensive.  seems like it would be more offensive to 'correct' how someone talks. 

i dont hear someone say, "whatchoo thank, mang" and think, "oh my, this ghetto talk is disrupting my white boy bubble." i dont eve fucking think about it at all, people pronounce words in different ways.  assuming intelligence based on how someone talks rather than what they say is fuckig stupid.

i'm from chicago.  people talk how they talk in the book.  believe me.  you'll find every possible way of talking.  in 'rontel' where the main character and his brother are talking about the 'rattlesnake guy' the 'rattlensnake guy' has a thick chicago accent. i use phonetic/whatever kind of dialogue for any character with a unique way (not 'ghetto' which is an ignorant word to use anyway, seeing as how you can be from wherever and talk like this).  for instance, in 'no hellos diet' the 'billy' character (whose race i won't mention) doesn't use "ghetto talk" but i still phonetically write out what he says.

the way people talk is not about race at all in my books.  it's about being able to show the reader the same things i've seen/heard, such that it preserves the excitement and uniqueness of it.

this shit pisses me off so much i'm not going to try to hide it.  a book can't be racist.  a book doesn't have willpower/consciousness.  the author can be racist (in day to day activities) but not the book.  and...you dont know me, so you're basically accusing someone you dont know/never met of being racist and living in a 'white boy bubble.'  that shit is way more racist.  i'm white?  what does that mean?  i'm italian motherfucker.  and i promise i show you how we do it in the Chi when you step to a motherfucker. 

come to chicago and i'll take you aroudn and you can tell me if what i'm writing about it realistic or not.  we can go all over, i'll even pop my white boy bubble so we can leave it.  why, you can even walk up to a real life "non-white" person and say to them, "you know, you really do talk like he writes, my stars!"

i really dont like responding to shit like this, because i honestly, truly, do not care how people receive the book, as long as it doesnt extend to making some claim about how i am/who i am.  for real, like, i mean it.  you can walk right up to me and say, "this book sucked and i hate it" and it wil have no affect.  but if you walk up to me and start making assumptions about my life based on wanting to provide "scandal" to a half-assed review (for real though, half an ass was there because you said some good shit), then i dont know man, i might lay you out.

i'm serious, just throw my book out if you're that stupid.

i dont give a fuck about this shit anymore anyway.

one last thought:  what is the race of the main character in 'rontel' and how do you know.

UPDATE:  just re-read the review.  missed some crucial idiotic ideas.

 Pink is an astute observer, and I have no doubt that he has encountered many black people in Chicago who talk like this. What makes me uncomfortable is that, as far as I can tell, every black character in his book talks like this.

haha, he has 'no doubt' there are some 'black people' who talk like this.  what does 'every black character' mean.  how do you know who is black outside of perceiving 'ghetto talk' as black, and additionally (just caught this) the reviewer (you) are white.  so you're doing what you accuse me of doing motherfucker.  come down off the early nineties puffed chest white dude anti racism bullshit and see shit as it is.  you're the same type of person who would probably go "ohhhhhhhhh" in a five year old voice if a "white" person said, "nigga" to a non white person.  seriously man, i know you're trying to sound intelligent, and like, academic or whatever, but fuck off. 

On their own, these passages are only a few steps removed from blackface. In the context of the story, however, the effect is muted. That’s because everybody the narrator meets in the city is fucked up in one essential way or another. The black people he meets sound ignorant, but so does everybody else. Still, it’s a problem when a book is published in 2013, and all of the black characters sound like they were written by Margaret Mitchell.

a few steps away from blackface?  whart the fuck does that mean.  blackface is overtly racist, putting the idea of "black people" into a white person's mouth and capitalizing only on made up stereotypes and abstract behavior.  rontel is based on things that happen.  the "black people sound ignorant."  what black people?  and who sounds ignorant?  people sound ignorant because they use "finna" or what do you mean?  ignorant means you don't know.  so you could barelt even be able to speak english or any language and still not be ignorant, as long as you are informed.

final note:  i write books about chicago and the people here because i love it/them.  if you think i purposely try to make anybody look bad or whatever, you're stupid.  read any of my books and the main point is, 'nobody knows what's going on and it can be enjoyable.'

i'm still so pissed about this.  i feel like beating the shit out of eight people then fucking eight more. 

P.S.  no one better mention the character enrique again unless it's positive because he's my little baby.

P.P.S.  thanks to alex miller for reading and reviewing the book....just...you know, come on.  also, i genuinely feel like you should apologize for saying racist shit. 

P.P.S  this kind of shit works me up because it's so far from the truth.  i also fucking hate when people go on about how i represent the jobs i work as "shitty."  any time i say shit like that (which i dont really) i then qualify it by saying it's me.  so when you shit on the places i work, you shit on everybody else there (including blacks, africans, mexicans, puerto ricans, south americans, eastern europeans, gays, lesbians, transgender/transsexual, jews, muslims and any possible mix of any possible thing you'll find in chicago) and that pisses me off because the people i worked with brought me joy when i had none and we all tried to make each others' lives better by not caring about what outward shit 'divided' us but instead the common need to try and make things better.  i got called 'white boy' at work by "non-whites" and it was funny and only meant to be a thing to bring people together and no one ever meant it maliciously.  i've only ever been polite and open to anyone and everyone and i've found a little bit of peace in that. 

P.P.P.S. chicago, city of the wind, 2013, we'll eat your pussy clean, everybody killers


sometimes i notice i've been grinding my jaw all day

i have about 20 physical copies (handmade by kelly 'big $herm' schirmann) of 'you ruined it' by our band 'young family.'

each one comes with a custom collage/handmade package signed by kelly and me. 


also, the only part of any dream i can remember in a long time was last night, during which someone said to me, 'i work at the sears tower' and then i made a shithead face and said, 'you mean the willis tower'


can somebody email me about a good (and free) online place to back up the files on your computer, specifically large wav. files.  sampinkisalive@gmail.com

2 things i've discovered that improve my life

1. whenever someone mentions a thing i like (like if someone says, 'hey should we get/do [something]') i loudly say, 'i love [thing they mentioned]' then start blinking and rolling my eyes real fast while licking my lips dramatically and making 'thup thup' sounds with my mouth.  this adds excitement to things and also feels like a genuine representation of [me].

2. at night, lying in bed, i think about all the pain other people are feeling. i think about certain people, and their pain, and then i think about how i barely know anyone, so there must be so much more pain, and i keep thinking about it, and how there's nothing i can really do, and it becomes like this tone in my head, like a rising tone and i lie there panicking about it until it beats me down bad and then i feel humbled and then stronger and ready to help the next day however i can, even if it's barely doing anything.
i really liked 'crapalachia' by scott mcclanahan a lot. 


reading march 14th

593 East Town Street (rear)
columbus ohio
830 pm


reading in cleveland tonight

Mac's Backs Bookstore | 7PM | w/ Richard Wehrenberg Jr., Sam Pink, Jordan Castro


YOUNG FAMILY has a merchandise page now where there are four different t shirts kelly made. 

bernard hopkins became the oldest man to win a championship last night.  at 48, he beat the last record, set by him, of 46. 


really good lyrics

In the chi, it's kill or be killed, hussle or die
You gotsta take the pie, momma didn't lie
Look in my eyes you see the realness
The nine makes you feel this
The pain that i'm going through 'til i'm sitting on millions
My minds on that paper, wishin' upon a caper
I need to stack now, i will pay for my sins later
When i'm living greater, the mind state of a westside native
It's sick in the head, dodgin' feds everyday
See me load the ak, watch 'em run when we spray
Get the fuck up out my way and for pray that this pistol play
'cause when i'm heated i'm gunning 'til there's nothing in sight
So cancel christmas muthafucka, fuck you and your life

Niggas in my mob is too suave
We ride hundred g cars, in it like the world is ours
Don't disrespect or get your chest split like cigars
In this county of crooks tryin' to avoid jail bars
But it's so hard to make cheese especially
If you ain't got no ph.d. or connect on phat keys
See mobstability is for niggas with nothing to lose
Going psycho from this drama you go through paying dues
I get a buck in your side tryin' to hussle for a ride
Or hittin' the block to find out one of your guys just died
So don't come to the chi, it's just risky as hell
'cause k-town niggas'll bomb on that ass like a stealth

In the county of crooks: gangbangers, killers and slangers
With judges be quick to hang us homies and strangers
No bluffin', we bustin'
Like a kamikaze, watch our bodies come up
War (?) then it's on, now we gon' strap up, what's up

[repeat chorus]

Our county's so crooked, psycho drama invented the style
Then damn near everybody took it and passed it around
Now these muthafuckas all look and see 'cause we puttin' it down
And ain't no sooner or later, the world gon' realize they fakin'
Then snatch they tapes of the shelves and break 'em, eliminate 'em
Just as fast as creator's way can create shit
Now they all on some hation, just like them nigga
Like ain't nobody done a thing
But we run a reason around these bitches
The more tapes we make the more they all go broke, so fuck 'em
If it ain't no love then it ain't none
If it is, then nigga then say something
'cause more of this beats gon' stomp and keep on stompin'
And drama make that solemn promise
That shorty flyin' all on niggas' business

Come look around crook county, look around, you found me
I must've been bad to the bone, get the mask and the chrome
This chi gotta die from a blast to the dome
Nigga, not muthafuckin' ouija board
I receive my blessings from g's and lord, nine-millies and source
But the art of war nigga, must've found breathin' bored
Tellin' me to look into your eyes, all i see is a bitch
Tell krayzie in new orleans that he bit
Talkin' about you was lovin' my shit
Hit the bud and got sent on that shit odyssey mumblin' r&b
You can keep the apology, you gon' try to dishonor me
Kill the hoes of the harmony
Just when you thought it was safe
The bone niggas 'bout to get slaughtered and raped
I can slow down and audit the tape
Y'all bent and all y'all who thought it was fake
Now watch (?) on the stage, beef and the rage
Die on the first on the month, 'cause it's than the blunt
Why would you compete to be doomed, now you gon' see eazy-e soon
Feel the boom of the reprecussion, 'cause the reefer's still rushin'
When i reach and start bustin'
I'm a bone crusher, crook county or nothin
Ain't no bluffin


here' a facebook age for the sexondd reading in new york,

also if anyone has any 'shmoxy-shmontin' they looking to unload in new york hit me up


"I learned to put the ass on the lip. People ask, ‘Larry, what’s that ass on your lip?’ I say, ‘I’m kissing.’ Not because I HAVE to, but because that’s the way life is. I don’t care if you’ve got a hundred billion dollars in the bank – there’s somebody’s butt you’re going to have to kiss."



i updated the MORON CULTURE blog.  it should have all the art on there now. 


i like it when everything doesn't seem as depressing for a little bit, and you think, "glad that's over" and then it comes back really bad and you can almost hear it laughing.