18.3.13

2 things i've discovered that improve my life

1. whenever someone mentions a thing i like (like if someone says, 'hey should we get/do [something]') i loudly say, 'i love [thing they mentioned]' then start blinking and rolling my eyes real fast while licking my lips dramatically and making 'thup thup' sounds with my mouth.  this adds excitement to things and also feels like a genuine representation of [me].

2. at night, lying in bed, i think about all the pain other people are feeling. i think about certain people, and their pain, and then i think about how i barely know anyone, so there must be so much more pain, and i keep thinking about it, and how there's nothing i can really do, and it becomes like this tone in my head, like a rising tone and i lie there panicking about it until it beats me down bad and then i feel humbled and then stronger and ready to help the next day however i can, even if it's barely doing anything.

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