14.4.13

PLANS FOR THE FUTURE

think i'm going to start an instagram or facebook page that's just sexy pictures of my sexy body making sexy faces and act like i'm not narcissistic by putting captions in like, 'geez i hate myself, lol' and 'check out this asswipe, 666 jk.'  the page will be called, 'my dick smells like pussy.' half of the pictures will just be my asscheeks spread apart so you can see my asshole.  the other half will be pictures of me flexing my ripped arms and/or letting honey drip down my sculpted core.  every once in a while i will allow other people to be in the pictures with me, if s/he makes sure to use one of the following hand signs:  'middle finger'  'peace sign'  'metal sign'  'tongue through peace sign/pussy eatng sign' and/or  'thumbs up/thumbs down.'  the goal will be to show people what a fun, rich life i live, while maintaining (via captions/comments) that i'm depressed and have no friends and no future.  every once in a while i will include clothed pictures, that appear to be showing off a funny shirt i have, but the main purpose will be to show off my unmatched handsomeness and startling/hypnotizing hazel eyes.  i will also be sure to include pictures that highlight my 18 inch neck (just two inches shy of mike tyson's!!!!) and 'american male' jawline.  i will probably also buy like, a funny beltbuckle so that i can take a picture of it, but really the point is to show off my 'sex lines' that go from my hips down into between my legs, and also, the outline of my dick.  once a month i will post a video that just a still shot of a book i like, with my eventual cumshot streaking across its cover.  in these videos, it will be silent for a second, then the cumshot will happen, then the words 'fuck yeah' will light up on the screen with me saying, 'fuck yeah' in a 'metallica singer' voice.  whenever i do readings, i'll make sure to include pictures, provided the reading is in a 'cool place' and provided the pictures portray me in a way that looks like i'm a doomed young author.  the goal of these pictures will be to suggest that i'm doomed and an outsider but that i travel to 'cool places' even though i'm so doomed and sexy.  any time anyone comments or likes a picture, i will respond immediately with a 'thanks!!!' or ' :) '   i'll take  cute pictures of me in my pajamas (sweatpants/sweatpant cut-offs) and say stuff like, 'yikes.....mornings :('   but i will make sure to still look sexy and manly in those pictures too.  i will work hard at this and attempt to get as many 'friends' or 'likes' as  possible until i feel fulfilled.  once i feel fulfilled, i will shove a knife down my throat and die slowly on the floor, choking as i reach out to pet rontel one last time. 

4 comments:

trevor john said...

You are a living high five.

Dewey Dell said...

Please prove you're not a robot

Jesse Prado said...

I wrote about you today on my blog, http://ilikebasketballshorts.blogspot.com/2013/04/3-of-americas-most-wanted.html

sam pink said...

just figured out how to view the thing that tells you what people searched to get here and one of the things was, "after smoking ice my fingernails are falling off."