21.5.13

NEW RULE

i have a new rule.  if you offer to pay me for something, like a drawing/a translation/whatever, and you dont pay me (even if it's 50 cents), i'm going to kill you.  not because money is important, but because i need to have rules and values in my life.  i do a lot of shit for free/little money, so don't worry about offering money... but if you do, and then don't pay it, i'll kill you.  like in your home.  like putting a knife into your chest over and over until you're dead.  like strangling you until you die.  like walking into a shitty bar where a reading is going on and someone is up on the mic taking ten minutes to preface a five minute story, and then that's the last thing you see before i set you on fire.    

5 comments:

trevor john said...

Your logic is flawless.

sam pink said...

picturing a camera shot of just my computer screen, with my hands in front of it wearing black gloves and i'm fastening a silencer onto a pistol, and then i dreamily say, "they all pay, or they all pay" and then i point the pistol at rontel and he rubs his cheek against it.

trevor john said...

Then maybe your wacky neighbor busts in looking for his socks and you panic and he's all like, "Whatevs, bro, I know you totes blow peeps away and shit", and then the sadness begins again.

Jeremy Maddux said...

www.surrealgrotesque.com.submissions

We REALLY want you to be a part of the Bizarro issue of Surreal Grotesque in August. Don't worry! We won't offer money, then not pay! We can't offer money, but when you see the final layout with your story in there, it'll be like getting high for about an hour!

Jeremy Maddux said...

oops, that's www.surrealgrotesque.com/submissions