something i've always felt attracted to is ruining something i've worked for.  like, work hard for something to see if i can achieve it, then after it's achieved, ruin it and see if i can start over. 


Anonymous said...

When I was a child, it was always that one sinister shadow in the corner of my room that kept me awake. I had to get out of bed and turn on the lights to make sure that it was really just a stack of books or a sweater thrown over a chair before I could feel comfortable enough to fall asleep. I'm older and naturally, my problems are bigger now, but I still get insomnia whenever I have something important or stressful to do the next morning.

What's worse: Having something terrible happen, or having the knowledge that something terrible is going to happen very soon?

I frequently fantasize about things that I fear too. I guess most sane people would try to just ignore or avoid it, but in my case, the object of my fear becomes the only thing that my mind will fixate on until soon enough it incapacitates me. Only when I can prove to myself that I am and indeed was strong enough to live through my fear do I become free to think about other important things like ... how unworthy I am of taking hot showers.

Sisyphean torture.

jereme said...

This post is about pussy, right?