this is a "romantic encounters" ad i want to post on craigslist:

hey!!! so, i dont know what i'm really doing here but.....basically i'm looking for someone to spend time with.  ideally, i come over with a 'special bag' and sit on your couch.  i set the special bag down on the coffee table.  maybe we have a little conversation, hold hands whatever.  then, and this is important, i say, "Could i please have a glass of water."  at which point you get up to get me the water and i loudly say, "better tie my shoe" and lean forward, exposing the back of my head (the softest part) and as you go to get the water you grab the 'special bag' and take out the softball-sized rock inside and bring it down on the back of my head as hard as you can and keep doing that until my head is two-dimensional. 


trevor john said...

that's how i met my wife. POW! ZING!

sam pink said...

i think the question on everyone's mind is, "who has the best alt-lit calves?"