experimental novel where the author goes back after the book is written and adds "know whatta mean, vern?" to a lot of the dialogue. 
short story called 'the guy who was making pancakes' where it's a guy going through the full process, from deciding to make pancakes, up to and including making them, all the while thinking things like 'there are going to be good' and 'can't wait to eat these!;
is there a literary/writing equivalent of "Hit'em Up." not like, 'the same thing' but in spirit. 
movie called 'The Blackest Friday' where a person robs/murders people in parking lots, steals their deals, takes the deals back to his/her apartment, and lights the apartment on fire. 
a lot of writers are polite/nice at readings but sometimes i wish they'd just spit on me
people who are adamant about 'small presses' and 'indie shit' as a way to move up to the 'big presses.' 


if i live to 90, i would like to be cast in a movie where i'm in one scene, at a diner, wearing a cowboy hat and full sweatsuit, and i randomly turn to one of the main characters eating at the counter with me after the waiter puts my pancakes down, and i say, "just how i like 'em, thin and floppy" then wink and start eating the pancakes, no teeth. 
that very small area between 'genuinely disliking everyone' and 'knowing there is probably something about everyone that would cause you to have feelings for them in some way.' 


still waiting for "so good, i'd eat it off my mom's corpse" to become a common saying


dating show where the contestants pick dates by sniffing asses/genitals while blindfolded
reality tv show called 'whiner kids' where the producers find whiny kids and every week they show footage of two whiny kids and edit it together with an analyst analyzing different styles and people vote on who wins.


realistically, killing yourself by hammering a nail into your head (with a single blow) would be as easy as shooting yourself. 
midwest winter depression.  
usually find myself liking people more for having intense beliefs and values even if i don't agree with them, instead of someone half-assedly repeating whatever ideas are currently dominating. 
that shit where you feel normal for a few minutes and think 'glad that's over' and start to wonder why things don't always feel normal, like you've just been missing something very simple. 


geez i re-read some of these posts.....so bitchy!!! seriously, just have fun and make the world a better place everyone!!!
i feel like when people say they value honesty they are always lying and/or willing to find a way to make 'honesty' ugly by characterizing it a different way--like 'insensitivity' or 'meanness' or whatever. there's always some additional bullshit going on that prevents people from being genuine or accepting of someone who is being genuine, which in turn creates more non-genuine interactions/feelings.
bankrupt house published a summary i wrote of a episode of 'family matters' 

here is a different summary by someone else. 
feel more horny for mangling someone than the normal kind of horny lately. 
i enjoy the grim/humorless feeling of total sobriety sometimes.   it makes it easier to see all the bullshit ways you put up with shit/people you hate.


that cute little way writers/artists will degrade/shittalk something non-writing related--like sports, or a holiday, or an election, or something pop-culture related--to remind people that, 'hey, i'm a fucking artist and everything not related to me is stupid!' 


there is comfort in sometimes treating life/the world as an increasingly-closer swarm of enemies that you promise yourself to keep attacking until they overcome you, which they will. 
you know how in philosophy books philosophers are looking for the simplest things, like 'what is being' or 'what is consciousness'...i think i've discovered my most original state of being/thinking is 'i want to put my fucking head through that [something/someone]'
i found an old drawing (1' by 2') of a devil-face thing with the phrase 'death before dishonor' written below it.  i'll sell it and an original copy (only 40 printed) of 'gerald mcclellan vs nigel benn'. i'll sell them to whoever offers the most by the end of the week.  i'm not going to try to take a picture of the drawing becuase my computer will just crash.
the only person i've ever been attracted to who wasn't someone i knew in real life was Ursula from 'the little mermaid.'  to me, she was really the whole package. 


from now on, whenever i see someone i know or get introduced to someone new, i'm going to say, 'get over here you ol' son of a bitch!' as i go in for a hug. 


the fun is locking yourself in your head until you become a small weak thing that you then let back out into the world, to try to survive, and if it survives, it's better, and you lock it back up for a little bit to let it get weak again before sending it back out. 
i don't like when people/their writing, try to avoid anger/hateful feelings. like when people act like they just don't get mad or ever have hateful feelings, when what that really means is 'i'm too afraid to face it' or 'i want people to believe i'm some enlightened person.' someone/some writing who lets anger and hate out, only to deal with it in interesting ways/face it, is way more interesting to me than someone who 'never gets angry.'  
performance art piece called 'gun or sword?' where i'm in an empty room in a museum and you can walk in and decide if you want to let me shoot you in the face point-blank or cut your head off with a sword. 


whenever i read/hear shit about people 'wishing more people read' or like [general bitching about why people aren't into 'the arts' anymore] i feel like understand why people aren't into books/reading/readings/the arts, because most of the people who are into or producing 'the arts' are fucking annoying and should be killed, myself included. 
never trust anyone with a lot of friends


i do this thing in the morning when i'm wetting and smashing down the hair that sticks up on the side of my head where i act like i'm in a gameshow where i'm competing against another person who is wetting his/her hands and smashing down his/her side tufts
that shit where it's like, a stenciled/graffiti'd 'positive/inspiring' saying like, 'together in love' or 'you are beautiful' or whatever, on buildings or wherever. that shit sucks. it's really alienating to have some motherfucker who doesn't know you act like they can help/or inspire/or lift you up. fake bullshit.
this is the wikipedia page for Larry Pierce, the grandfather of Lazy Fascist editor Cameron Pierce. he threw himself on an explosive in Vietnam to protect his men. 
that thing where journalists/publications/tv use 'polarizing' issues and create a story where there is none, in order to keep ignorant/uninformed/misinformed people talking to each other about meaningless shit with predetermined sides, to keep people from thinking about their own lives.   


tips for using a powercord that isn't made for your computer but kind of works:

1. sometimes you have to unplug it just a little for it to work
2. sometimes you have to put a little weight on it, like a vitamin container or book.
3. sometimes you have to bend it really hard
4. sometimes a single tap does it
5. sometimes forcing it in and out while thinking 'fuck you fuck you'
6. sometimes surrendering, and thinking something like, 'fine, i can't get you to do something you don't want to do' makes it work

cpr for a broken neck
i have this sweet-ass ear thing now where the only sound i hear out of one ear is a sound like someone taking four or five steps at a time on dead leaves.  then just ringing.  


boyhood dream of inhaling all the oxygen in the world and staring out blinkless as everything drops dead. 


long lost Howlin' Wolf song called 'I Got the Cum-Stained Umbro Blues.' 
my latest novel 'witch piss' is out today from lazy fascist press. 


a tshirt that says "This IS my wintercoat, man"


urge to start a twitter where i only kiss danielle steele's ass.  like respond to everything she tweets with "i knoooooooww!!!"  or "you said it D.S!!!"  or like put up pictures of me holding a picture of danielle steele next to my face and tweet "jus' me and danny, whatever!! #chillin"
when someone says s/he (or someone they know) is 'wild' or 'crazy' but it turns out they just mean 'drunk.'