i feel bad for anyone who has to deal with me, if even for like, one conversation. i'm a fucked up mess with no hope. don't deal with me. i don't think i've been happy since i was like, i dont know. there's like, a scream behind my forehead by my hairline and it just keeps throbbing and i can't get it out. i just never feel ok. don't try and make me feel better.
special type of surgery where the doctor agrees to cut open your chest, allowing access to your heart, then closes it back a little, but only enough so you can get on the bus and sit down next to someone and say, 'hey check this shit out' then open your shirt and reach into your chest and rip your own heart out before laughing a little and falling to the floor of the bus
something to do if you were going to a social gathering of some kind would be to secretly bring a two liter of Sprite and some plastic cups and then after interacting with people for a little bit say you have to go to the bathroom and go fill up cups for everyone and come back into the room holding all the cups and say, 'ok everyone, now who wants Sprite?' and hand out all the cups, saying things like 'there we go' and 'that's it' after handing out each cup.
urge to start a thing where, whenever i go somewhere indoors, i carry a big bowl of chili with me and then when i enter i say (to anyone there), 'man if i don't hurry up i'll be late for the ch-' then trip forward, spilling the chili all over, then, still lying on the ground, shake my head and say, 'well shoot'
genuinely wanting to get a CTA job so my first day while i'm driving a train, i can get on the p.a. and say, "Attention everyone aboard, fuck you all, and fuck anything that means anything to you" then peacefully bring the train to a stop in the middle of a tunnel, get out, and go live among the rats as their holy guide.