2.3.14

love at first sight with an acne-faced teenager walking down the street holding a miniature car in his hand and talking to it, then putting it up to his ear to listen.

11 comments:

darcie wilder said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kevin J Clune said...

earlier today I imagined myself getting my face smashed in by a car and was relieved that at least one thing made sense

jereme said...

hi darcie, this is sam's manager, jereme.

there's an application process for sex with him, and, unfortunately, he's booked until august, so submissions are temporarily closed.

send me your email address and i'll add you to the announcement list.

if, for some reason, you're one of those crazy bitches that has to have him, like, right fucking now, we can send you a stock dick pic. there are three styles to choose from: happy, sad, whimsical.

the dick pic costs $19.99. one per fan.

sorry and good luck with your life!

sam pink said...

was eating at Taco Burrito King last night and i was sitting by the fountain drink/garbage hole area and this guy walked up and put his face into the garbage hole and started puking

Anonymous said...

Love at first sight with a roach I forgot I hid in an old coffee cup

darcie wilder said...

jereme will you marry me, sam said no

darcie wilder said...

maybe it's that i don't throw up enough in public

jereme said...

darcie, i'm a misogamist.

make a video of you puking on one of sam's books and i'll see if I can bump you up to the top of the list.

darcie wilder said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jereme said...

it's a start. clearly you've been paying attention, but not close enough.

i mean, why would i care about some dude other than me getting panties.

sam will be reading in some shithole in april with scott mclanahan. if you make it, i'll talk to my boy.

no promises though.

darcie wilder said...
This comment has been removed by the author.