4.3.14

one long moment of questioning whether or not you are adding and subtracting the right amount from the world/others, interrupted by periods of knowing you aren't, interrupted by periods of not caring at all, interrupted by that special kind of panic that happens an hour before you go to sleep, interrupted by waking up and laying there looking up, interrupted by short-term goals, interrupted by remembering the lack of a long-term goal, interrupted by wanting to give away any and everything you could, interrupted by wanting to return to some old feeling, interrupted by realizing how you feel now will be desirable in a year or two, interrupted by a moment of questioning whether or not you've become a better or worse person, interrupted by people using you and you using them, interrupted by just feeling like going for a walk, only to return to wondering whether or not you're doing what you want to do or if even doing what you want to do is something you want to do.

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