i have a new book out through lazy fascist press, called, 'Rontel 2' 


Courtney said...

for real????

jereme said...

(gruff but excited voice over)

In a world gone mad, only one barely awake cat can save humanity from backyard apiaries...

(explosion noise)


(image of rontel wearing a red thai-style headband and snoring on top of an m60 machine gun.)

This summer from Lazy Fascist.

sam pink said...

cut to a shot of you on a speeding jet-ski, holding rontel in one arm and the machine gun in the other, firing the machine gun at 'punk' crocodiles who are chasing you on jet-skis and you yell, 'next time, I get to pick where we go for vacation!' and rontel jut blinks twice and licks his lips.

jereme said...

a long rope attached to the back of the jet ski is pulling a para-sail and you in bermuda shorts, arms crossed, thumbs down, giant chicago stache flappin' in the wind like an air sock on a rich dude's boat house.

sam pink said...

cut to a shot of all of us chained up in a dungeon, being guarded by 'punk' crocodiles. you turn to me and say, 'hey i think you still owe me a few bucks for that 7-11 trip last night' and i just shake my head and then rontel wakes up, walks out of the oversized shackle he has on and one by one explodes the heads of the punk crocodiles by staring at them with one of his eyes halfway closed, making a 'wub wub' supersonic sound.

jereme said...

shot of the three of us entering a pitch-black tunnel.

I turn to you and say, this feels about as good of an idea as a threesome with your parents.

60 second shot where only our eyes are illuminated in the dark and a crunching sound is heard with every step taken.

"fuh-fuh-feels like fortune cookies..." you say and blink your eyes.

"bruh, those ain't fortune cookies," I say, then spark a zippo.

we look down to see the floor moving with cockroaches and millipedes and simultaneously shriek, then I jump into your arms and you jump into rontel's.

he carries us out like a waiter balancing a champagne glass pyramid at a wedding reception.

sam pink said...


Anonymous said...