26.5.15

winking and making a kissy-face when you notice someone noticing your severe b.o.
'kurt cobain' as slang for violent oral sex

25.5.15

that shit where suddenly the only thing that makes sense is to go up to someone on the street and empty your pockets and hand it all to them then take off your shirt and shoes and run away
the me viewing the me who is comically unaware of his bullshit until he is humbled by it
that scary moment when life gives you something you really want and you wonder if you can handle it

23.5.15

whenever  i hear someone use the phrase 'i'm so over it' i always want to lean in (preferably while eating a small bag of chips, smiling like an asshole) and say, 'you mean you were never into it.'

22.5.15

smiling and putting your finger over your lips and saying, 'shhhh' is almost always the best response
clearing out everything in the fridge, including the shelves, and getting inside dressed like a slice of pizza so when your roommate comes home and opens the fridge you can be like, 'hey, looking to steal me from your roommate when all he wants to do is eat me after working sixteen hours in a shithole you MOTHERFUCKING THIEF!'
waiting for an advancement in culture where people openly admit they want to be bossed and totally controlled

21.5.15

my baby rontel has been dead for almost a year. i  have a 2'x3' poster of him as a kitten and i'll handwrite as much of 'rontel' on the back of it as i can (feel like i can get it all if i try hard enough. but i have to try hard enough, i have to) for whoever offers the most. i need money for a new computer. sampinkisalive  at  g mail  dot com
grappling hook of blowing a kiss as you fall down a bottomless pit
if anyone has any reading opportunities email me, even if it's reading to just you at your apartment

and/or if anyone knows how to sew well, my leather jacket is all fucked up
if anyone reading this has a cheap computer they'd like to sell, email sampinkisalive  at g  mail.com

there is a glitch looking thing covering half the screen on mine
slowly dying in chicago, a love story

20.5.15

little known fact that it's physically impossible to kill a dago if he's in dress pants, a white tshirt and a leather jacket
the cool thing about being bi polar is that to others it doesn't seem like anything is wrong with you, you're just an unpredictable asshole for no reason.

another cool thing is having to exist as the silent babysitter for that unpredictable person.


only comprehending most mainstream society/interactions/debates/ideas as an elephant who tripped and broke a leg and then billions of ants began to eat it
well, shit, we'd love to hire you here at (coffee shop/clothing store/salon/etc) but you just don't seem to have your septum pierced...

19.5.15

that moment where you laugh and just barely stop yourself from jumping off a train platform to try and grab the streetlight below
is there a medical condition where it feels like the sun is trying to burst out of your head
if i had a kid who became the world's worst serial killer, when i was on the news i'd shrug and say, 'i'm just glad he didn't become a high school football coach.'
kickstarter/gofundme to buy a loner kid an ice cream cone
willing my future ghost to the fog on lake michigan
when a dog bites you and then backs away in fear
recurring urge to, when near a brick wall, mutter, 'this one's for (someone's name)' and then run into the wall
willing my future ghost to the hearts of those being bullied in any way
performance art piece where you break into someone's house and hide somewhere until you starve to death
alienating way more people when happy/in a good mood because of how fast you're talking and how you don't blink at all and have no barriers
almost sick with how much i anticipate screaming 'fuck you' in my boss's (owner of the company) face and seeing the fear
is there a medical condition where you get boners in your sleep that are so hard they wake you up
remember like three years ago when it was in vogue for people (condescending art pricks/hipsters) to passively mock 'juggalos/that culture.'
when one of the only meaningful interactions you have is a homeless guy telling you your beard has class
lasted ten seconds in my first visit to an urban outfitters and now truly understand what a stray dog feels
tying the laces of the boot on your throat
walking down the street screaming the song playing in your headphones, making grand hand gestures, pointing at people you pass and winking at them, smiling at dogs, and feeling like your head is partially missing
tyler perry movie starring me dressed as an overweight sassy aunt named 'Auntie Soshul.'
quickest way to alienate an entire bar is to put on the 'hiv/aids' song by ween
the song 'raping a slave' by swans
had urge to grab bald man's head from behind on bus and lick the stubble and then make a serious face when he looks at me and say, 'now do you believe me' and get off the bus while maintaining serious eye-contact
a 21 thumbs-down salute at my funeral
defend your neighborhood from frozen yogurt places

12.5.15

that 'extra trying-too-hard to look meek/slouched/sad/adorable/oh i didn't even know there was a camera there look' preferred by most artsy/indie/hipster/[you know what i'm talking about] type dudes

10.5.15

going to start responding to all texts/emails in an italian accent. like, 'thank'a you fuh-you email, i'a make'adda nice'a story fuh-yoo magazineh, ah?'

6.5.15

new novel THE GARBAGE TIMES
new kind of scum known as 'juice bar employee' whose primary work-skill is being comically over-enthusiastic
people always make 'having to walk on eggshells around you' seem like it's not a compliment

1.5.15

when you say, 'hey brother' to the hotdogs spinning under the heat lamp at 7-eleven
new poem:

a woman in yoga pants browsing shoes online at a coffee shop
dudes who wear a backwards/slightly to the side baseball hat perched just on top of their head who arent in a gang identifying allegiance...
judging by the blackhawks and the cubs, well-to-do people enjoy having a place to go to get excited about something they don't understand or care about
viewing some days as a 'light tour of death.'
new habit of asking assholes,  'who trained you?'
service dog that growls and snaps at people to ward them off so  you don't have to do it slowly by being anti-social/angry/emotionless
can't fucking stand interacting with people who view friendships/romantic relationships in the context of 'power.'
the unsung hero that is your favorite drug hoodie/shirt/
supes anti-soash