passed by two people walking and guy said, '...those like, disgusting little dreadlock things' and i immediately figured he was talking about a giant larval creature with little dreadlock things lining it's mouth and throat to digest things
heard a grizzled wise-man of some kind in my head ssaying, 'they say each shitty self-haircut takes a lot out of a man...'
the best way to commit suicide by jumping out in front of a car seems to be to crouch behind the hood of a car parked on the street and watch for oncoming cars through the windshield.
'deadly calm' as the only description of yourself on a dating website
my high-power publicist made a high-power move aand created a twitter.  she runs it, so if it says i like you or follow you that's probably not true. she's just making high-power moves (on that ass).


highly recommend covering eyes or ears with your hands when in an undesirable social situation and someone is talking to you (or even nobody is talking to you!)

jellybean and ghost olive

my high-power, high-class, no-nonsense, turbo-ass, down and dirty publicist will be posting a story a day from SUPER LIMITED AND OUT OF PRINT BOOK 'GERALD MCCLELLAN VS NIGEL BENN' on the OFFICIAL TUMBLR

you're welcome, you fucking rats
i'm reading next wednesday at unchartered books. 


good conversation starter at bar or wherever:  'i really don't think i'd mind if tits were covered in a small amount of hair, i really don't.'